Dear Sally,
One of my closest friends is slowly distancing herself from me, I am really afraid she might be suicidal. What do I do?
Love,
Concerned Friend

Dear Concerned Friend,
Suicide is a huge issue, so do not under estimate it. As a friend you always want to be there for your friend. Usually suicidal teens are feeling hopeless, which is completely normal. When people talk about suicide it usually means that they are in pain, and all they want is for that pain to go away. If you are worried about them find a counselor, a teacher, or even bring them to our school psychologist Mr. Hartman. If you feel that because your friend is depressed and having suicidal thoughts that you are starting to become depressed go with your friend to talk about it, so you can feel better too. Sometimes it is easier to see a teacher, counselor, or psychologist together so you feel comfortable.

Some symptoms suicidal according to Mr.Hartman (Kearny High School psychologist):

• Talking about suicide or write about it
• Depressing music
• Sleeping problems
• Depression problems
• Drinking, smoking, or using drugs too much
• Acting unusual or out of the ordinary
• Eating too much or too little
• Stop going to activities that they usually attend
• Being pessimistic/ bad mood/ always negative
• Cutting/ self mutilating
• Punching walls/ a lot of anger
• Grades dropping
• Sports activity going down hill
• Relationship problems

The most common cause for suicidal thoughts, according to Mr.Hartman, is relationship problems related to families or peers. Usually, people become suicidal after being cheated on, broken up with, being turned down, or other relationship.

Most people who end up having relationship problems that end up becoming suicidal first stop socializing with their friends while they are with their girlfriend/boyfriend. They stop with working towards the goals that they once wanted, and all they can see about their future is their relationship. The relationship can become too intense, can become all about the sexual activity more than usual, or start to “love one another” to the point of unhealthy obsession. Then, if or when they break up, they become lonely, and have nobody because they pushed everybody else away when they were with their girlfriend/boyfriend. The intense emotions caused by the breakup, combined with a lack of supporting friends, can lead to serious issues, and, sadly, suicidal thoughts.

Another common cause to suicidal thoughts, according to Mr. Hartman, is excessive drug use. When somebody is on drugs they become more impulsive, and their judgment is not there. They start to get very depressed because all they think about is the negative factors of life. They become more drug addicted and that becomes their life- leading, again, to a broken support system and suicidal issues.

If you have any more questions about suicidal teens contact:

Brian Hartman
School Psychologist
(858) 496-8370 Ext. 2002
bhartman@sandi.net

Or talk to any of your high school counselors or teachers. Remember, suicide is nothing but a permanent solution to a temporary problem- one no one should take!

Love,
Sally